When reading Dale Carnegies “How to Win Friends and Influence people” I stumbled across this BIG SECRET.
There is only one way to get anybody to do anything. And that is making the other person want to do it.
‘The only way I can get you to do something is by giving you what you want’.
What do YOU want? Some of the things most people want are:
- Money and the things it will buy
- Life in the thereafter
- Sexual gratification
- The well being of our children
- A feeling of IMPORTANCE
Nearly al of these can be can be granted – except one. It is what Freud calls“The desire to be great” ” and John Dewy, one of Americas great philosophers, says is the deepest urge in human nature “The desire to be important”.
“Everybody likes a compliment” – Lincon
“The deepest principle in human nature is to be appreciated” – William James
This desire makes us want to buy the latest, clothes, cars and gadgets. However this desire can have adverse affects for example. many young children join gangs and commit crimes to gain appreciation and to be seen as a ‘hero’ among their peers. John Dillenger got his feeling of importance as an outlaw, bank robber and murderer. When Dillenger was caught by the FBI he stated ” Im John Dillenger” proud that he was Public Enemy Number ONE.
Why did Andrew Carnegie pay Charles Schwab over $1million a year? was it because he was a genius? or new more about steel than anyone else? No, not at all. Schwab himself admitted this and said
“I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people to be the biggest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best in a person is by appreciation and encouragement” – Charles Schwab.
Will flattery work? Flattery rarely works with discerning people, it is shallow, selfish and insincere. What is the diffreence between flattery and appreciation? One is sincere and the other one isn’t. One comes from the heart out and the other one the teeth out. one is unselfish; the other one selfish.
” Flattery is telling the other person exactly what they think about themselves” – King George V
Appreciation is one of the most neglected virtues of our daily existense. Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily trips. You will be surprised how well they will ignite flames of friendship.
“Every man I meet is my superior in some way” – Emmerson
So lets stop thinking in terms of your own wants and accomplishments, but think more about others good points. Forget flattery but give sincere honest appreciation and dont forget to repeat these steps on a daily basis.
Whilst reading Tony Buzans Book of Genius I found these qualities that explain why successfull people are successful.
The ‘guiding light’ with in us. Vision is our ability to imaginatively see our life plans in a way that is clear and comprehensively understood in our minds eye. One of the worlds greatest masters of vision is Muhammad Ali, his VISIONS OF VICTORY where so well formed that he could describe vividly round-by-round analysis of his fights months before they occured, often stating in what round and how he would win. Theses publically promoted visions also became etched in the minds of his opponents, who subconsiously shared Alis vision which contributed to their own downfall.
The degree of passion or want to fulfil your visions, goals and successful lifestyle. Many great successful men have described their desire as a’ burning’ or ‘pulsating’ urge or an ‘overriding hunger’ . There are 6 steps that turn desire into success.
To become truely successful you have to posses a solid belief in yourself and your mastermind group. Faith has to be particularly strong as it is often the case that successful people are often ridiculed because their vision is not yet understood by others.
Commitment is the combination of vision, desire and faith.
Planning is vitally important in achieving whatever succuss you want to achieve. Effective planning involves definiteness of purpose, focus and attention to detail of short, medium and long term goals of your overall vision.
The ability to chase your dreams in the face of adversity when others would give up. A man who had incredible persistence was Thomas Edison, Edison conducted over 5000 experiments to get electricity to produce light. He kept going when others told him to stop saying that with every failure he was one step closer to success.
7. LEARN FROM MISTAKES
Many success stories are born from the ability to review mistakes, no matter how unpleasant they may be.
‘ A wise man learns from his mistakes,
An even wiser man learns from others ”
8. SUBJECT KNOWLEDGE
It is impotrant to have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge in the field you wish to pursue.
An understanding of the brains functions; behavioural skills, memory, creativity, learning and thinking skills.
The process of creating internal images or ‘to see thought’ and to visualise the outcome of plans and goals.
11. POSITIVE ATTITUDE
A realistic, positive attitude is enthusiastic, optimistic, up beat and can-do and open to every opportunity for getting the best out of every situation. Be careful not to wander into the territory of rose tinted glasses, maintain an accurate assessment of events with a focus on maximising opportunities.
Auto suggestion is the ‘self talk’ we do in our heads (yes, everybody does it, its not just you!) Psychologists have reported that as much as 90% of it tends to be negative. For example. ” I cant do that” “that will never happen for me”. Why not flip this percentage to 90% positive self talk. Charles Dickens ‘auto suggested’ out loud by having conversations with his characters and roaring out loud with laughter.
13. INTUITION or 6th SENSE
This is the ability to ‘sense’ or ‘feel’ accurately the possibilities or probabilities for accomplishing a goal in all situations. This can occur in sudden flash moments of insight like the ‘Eureka moment‘ or it can be a sudden deep down realisation that something will succeed.
A mastermind group is a group of individuals who make up your immediate personal and professional ‘circle of advisors and influencers‘ who assist in the achievement of visions and goals.
15. MASTERMIND (INTERNAL)
The internal role models or’ heroes’- either from history or those in the present who we can learn from.
Your brain is a truth seeking mechanism and will therefore seek out the truth, so it is vitally important to be true to yourself as well as others.
17. FACING FEARS/ COURAGE
It is often assumed that successful people have less fear than most people. In fact the opposite is true. The strength of successful people is in their ability to face fear, as a result they actively step out from their comfort zones to seek fear and tackle it square on, its the thrill of the unknown and overcoming it.
The quality of success is in relation to your ability to generate new ideas, see things from a different perspective, to solve problems in anoriginal ways and to maintain an open, quick, curious and exploring mind.
19. LOVE OF THE TASK
This is expressed as a life consuming passion and enthusiasm, not only for the particular vision but its wider implications.
How many successful people exude a certain physical, sensual and sexual energy? yes thats right, all of them! This magnetic quality comes from the other 19 qualities working in harmony towards your vision of lifestyle success.
The 6 Steps that will turn DESIRE into SUCCESS
DESIRE is the starting point of all achievement is, Desire is so important to SUCCESS that it is one of thirteen key principles of success outlined by Napoleon Hill in his book Think and Grow Rich. Desire is not a hope or a wish, it is a pulsating urge that transcends everything else in life. To become truly successful you must desire success with a definiteness of purpose that it becomes a consuming obsession of life.
THE 6 STEPS
1. Fix in your mind EXACTLY what you desire! It is not good enough to say “ I want lots of money”, “ I want a better job”. You need to be exact, for example; I want £1million, I want to be the CEO of company X. Really Imagine what achieving this will feel like, look like.
2. Determine exactly what you intend to GIVE IN RETURN for what you desire. You will not get something for nothing.
3. Set a definite DATE for when you intend to achieve the success you want ( This will psychologically present your mind with a state of urgency)
4. Create a definite PLAN for carrying out your desire and START AT ONCE! Whether you are ready or not, put your plan into action. There is no substitute for action. Remember READY, FIRE, AIM!!! not ready, aim, fire!
5. WRITE a clear and concise statement of what exactly it is you want to achieve, the date you will achieve this by, state what it is you will give in return and describe clearly your plan to acquire it.
6. READ ALOUD your written statement twice a day, The first thing you do when you wake and the last thing you do before going to bed. As you read really see, feel and believe you have all ready achieved your desire. ( THIS IS ESSENTIAL!!!)
To turn your hopes and wishes into a BURNING DESIRE you will have to follow all the instructions described in all of THE 6 STEPS. It is especially important that you follow step 6 with 100% commitment. Many people have complained that it is impossible to “ see yourself having achieved the success you want” before you actually have it. Here is where your burning aid will come to your assistance, if you truly desire success that your desire is an obsession, you will have no problem in convincing yourself that you have it. It is only when you saturate your mind with success that you can see yourself in possession of it.